Unassisted Homebirth

...for Husbands/Fathers

Ideas to Help Convince a Reluctant Father

I would try to get your husband to understand that giving birth in a hospital only has the appearance of being safer. Once you walk through those doors of the hospital you belong to them. You will do what they want you to do and will be subjected to procedures they want to give you without much say on your part.

The procedures they inflict can do harm to both mother and baby but they don't worry about it because they are there to fix it or else they don't worry about it because the problem is not evident right away. Take pitocin for instance, frequently administered to speed up the delivery. Why? Well, they'll tell you things aren't progressing fast enough and the baby needs to come out, or your labor is not strong enough to facilitate delivery. What they won't tell you is some women labor for hours and hours before giving birth to quite normal healthy babies. The only reason they want to speed it up is because they aren't being paid by the hour to tend to your birth and they don't have hours and hours to wait. The faster that baby comes out the better so they can move on to the next one. We have a friend who labored over 24 hours with her first child and she was born with no problems.

What they won't tell you also is the stress the stronger pitocin caused contractions will induce upon the baby as he comes out. The pitocin causes each contraction to be stronger than it would normally be which can cause harm to the child. The strong contractions also make it much more painful on the laboring mother, frequently causing her to want the drugs to lesson the pain.

Speaking of that, the epidurals they give can cause harm to the child (and to the mother, as any anesthetist will tell you). The masking of the pain causes your body to not function as it should during the delivery meaning the doctor may have to resort to more invasive measures to get the baby out.

If left to herself during labor and delivery, the mother will assume the most comfortable position for her to lesson the pain. The delivery itself is in the vast majority of cases, problem free. Actually, the percentage of problems that really require trained medical attention are 5% or less. That's the percentage of deliveries that might really require a C-section, for which you obviously need a trained medical person.

It wasn't worth subjecting my wife to all those other dehumanizing procedures in the hospital just on the 5% chance something really serious might happen.

Of course, you need to be in good shape, eating right, getting exercise and your pregnancy should not have any problems. Given the lack of any risk factors, you should have a normal labor and delivery.

Get the book Emergency Childbirth by Dr. Gregory White. It's the manual they use for police and firemen who might find themselves having to assist a woman in labor. It covers just about any situation that might arise during the labor and delivery with how to handle it. It even ended one chapter saying any reasonably intelligent 8 year old could do it. That went a long way toward reassuring me when I read that.

You said your husband doesn't like to read but he really should in this case to educate himself. Birth is not a medical event, it's a natural process women's bodies were designed to handle. Hospitals are for sick people. It's the last place your husband should want a healthy wife and child to be.